


The World Doesn't Need To Know (Our Love)

by milkteadeluxe (ninthdreamie)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bullying, Catholic School, Demisexuality, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homosexuality, M/M, Rating: PG13, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 08:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13244523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninthdreamie/pseuds/milkteadeluxe
Summary: The dynamic duo Sehun and Lu Han hold a secret: they're both dating. It's not your typical story, since this involves them in a Catholic school with a homophobic principal, and their respective sport scholarships at stake. How long will they keep their secret?





	1. Chapter 1

**THE DYNAMIC DUO, COULD THEY BE…?**

Lu Han and Sehun are best friends. Yes, that is the perfect way to put it. Everybody knows them as the dynamic duo of our school. There’s no Sehun without Lu Han, and vice versa. They’re the _kings_ of the campus, and what makes them different is they’re not jerks. They have broken many customs in the school, and have created new norms that everyone quickly obliged to. They were the pioneers of the new era. They are simply… _legends_.

That was just exaggerated, but it is the truth. They could pass off as the presidents of South Korea without even needing an election. But going back to my point, they are the dynamic duo of our batch. Want to know why they are called that?

 _First of all_ , Oh Sehun is the basketball team’s captain. He is known for being the all-rounder even though his main position is being the point guard. He moves like The Flash, and his occasional dunks in the court are memorable enough for it to be part of the school paper every year. Rumor has it that he was once given a sports scholarship but he rejected it for he thought he needed to train some more in order to consider himself worthy. And there is Lu Han, the captain of the soccer team. He is typically the main reason why our school won back-to-back championships last year. He is really _just born for soccer_. With his quick legs, critical thinking, and awesome leadership he is quickly praised. And his epic moments during his games are on the school paper, right next to his best friend’s.

 _Secondly_ , they are both handsome. Sehun looks like the teenage Adonis in his uniform and with his short black hair that complimented his face. He has the perfect posture, and he never slouches, even through sitting down. He has a princely aura that makes the girls have a dream of being swept off their feet by him. Lu Han is the typical flower boy with his bouncy blond hair, and he is a sight loved by the straights and the queer people. Anybody could imagine flowers falling over him as he walks down the hallway like a typical leading man in a Korean drama. So when the both of them are put together, it’s an _explosion of visuals_. They ended the idols themselves.

 _Finally_ , they have history. Not in the sense that it is tragic, but it is actually sweet enough to the point it is diabetic. Who would have thought that Sehun would have been the one to get bullied back in middle school? According to some anecdotes collected, he was really lanky and his appearance wasn’t worth bragging about, and he never really talked back then, so his classmates bullied him. And he would go home still indifferent, but his uniform was already stained with dried egg yolks and flour tainting his black hair. But when Lu Han transferred to the school where he was, that was where it all started. Though a new kid from China and ended up becoming the other’s new neighbor, the latter was a force to be reckoned with. When the smaller boy witnessed his new schoolmate getting bullied, he would kick all of them right at the groin. That was why there were many cases of infertility among those bullies—it’s because their dicks were kicked too hard.

But anyways, the dynamic duo were like twins wherever they were, and it was no surprise too when they transferred to the school they’re currently in. But their closeness could lead to some suspicions in the campus. Their daily skinship is given meaning by the girls who _ship_ them, and they often gush at how cute they are. The boys often mutter how the duo sends a vibe of _no homo_. Even I am thinking of the possibility that they could be more than best friends now. Is there even a hint that they really are? That is where the lines get blurry for the students, and it is a mystery far from being discovered. The question still remains: _are Oh Sehun and Lu Han really dating?_

**

This could be some useless information, but Cheon Saeyeol’s new blog post about Sehun and Lu Han became the talk of the school. Her post caused chaos, and it didn’t just reach her fellow seniors, but the whole school also. The freshmen— _freshies_ , as how they are called in the campus—were still in doubt though, since people cannot easily conclude a relationship status just by seeing how they treat each other. The sophomores, especially the queers among their batch, were crying because they all wanted a taste of Lu Han. But it seems like they’re too late. The juniors, who have followed the duo ever since, had no comment regarding the matter. But the principal of their campus ordered Saeyeol to delete her blog post, since it reeks of _homosexuality_ and it isn’t good for a Catholic school. She still did not delete it though, but everyone else shut up about it.

The only people who aren’t aware of this are the dynamic duo themselves. Well, to change the subject, the story is now focused on the campus’ sky view. It was quite big and wide, located in an area where traffic often occurs. It’s in between a shopping mall and a famous snack bar for the students there. Zooming in to the inner part of the area, the fountain located at the center of the campus lobby is still functioning, and it lit up now that the sun has set and the sky is darkening. There weren’t any students remaining other than the athletes, fresh out of their practices and they were chatting about the smallest things. Some are grumbling about assignments, lack of sleep, and copying answers the next day instead.

“Captain, let’s go to the snack bar!”

The soccer players often invite their captain, Lu Han, to eat at the snack bar. And every so often, the captain rejects them. “Sorry, I gotta finish my assignments.”

Groans came out of his teammates, and his fellow teammate Minseok rolls his eyes at him. He is the vice captain. “We don’t even have assignments, Han!”

“Well, I do.” Lu Han shoots back at him.

Meanwhile, the basketball team just came out of the gymnasium and they were all joking around. They looked like barbarians—at least, the young ones—meanwhile Sehun just walked behind them, a tired but satisfied smile on his face. _Thank god, practice is over_ , he thought.

“Sehun hyung, want to go to the arcade with us?”

“Yeah, it will be fun, hyung!”

“We could just shoot some hoops.”

Sehun simply rejects them with a smile. His teammates already knew what was up. “You’re gonna see her tonight, hyung?”

“Yeah, maybe next time, kids.” Sehun replies, sounding apologetic. Before his teammates ran off, he told them to be safe on the way home. He stayed behind, right beside the fountain.

Surprisingly, Lu Han did the same thing as he watched his fellow soccer teammates walk off. With his hand hidden in the pocket of his jeans, he stood right next to Sehun. They were standing next to each other, and it looked really mysterious. They were waiting until their teammates weren’t seen and they didn’t need to wait much anyway. It only took two minutes and suddenly, no one was really around but them. The fountain was the only thing that produced light within the campus. The teachers, along with the principal, have gone home awhile ago.

Sehun turned to Lu Han first, his left hand reaching out. The latter takes it, and their hands intertwine, moulded perfectly.

“How long will it take before we keep it from everyone?” Sehun asks, sounding completely uncertain. They started walking together, hand in hand. Lu Han looked tense; the question bothered him.

“Until this year ends and we graduate.” Lu Han replied, his grip on Sehun’s hand tightening. “You know how homophobic the principal is—the moment she knows about us, we’re dead.”

Lu Han looks up at Sehun, apologetic. He didn’t want to say sorry; it would just let the latter down and things wouldn’t be better for the both of them.

Sehun manages to breathe after that dead silence. They were out of the school, and the people around them had no knowledge that they were together. No one knew them, anyway. “But I’m still sticking to my word.”

Lu Han tightened his hold on Sehun’s hand again. “I won’t call you  _that_ until we are no longer hiding this relationship.”

**

It was time for school. Lu Han fixes the collar of his polo shirt as he faces his reflection. As he made sure that he looked fine through the mirror, he remembered what Kyungsoo told him about how he looked a year ago.

_“Hey, what’s up with that smile?” Kyungsoo asks out of nowhere. Lu Han looks up from his paper where he’s jotting down the happenings in Sehun’s game for the school paper._

_"Was I smiling?” Lu Han asked, because he was sure he wasn’t._

_Kyungsoo rolled his eyes. “You smile a lot nowadays. I mean, you smile all the time, but there’s something different.”_

_Lu Han was close to ignoring Kyungsoo and focus on the game instead. His best friend, Sehun, is already scoring a lot of points for their school and he can’t help but feel proud. He is indeed, the team’s pride._

_His heart flutters at the thought of his best friend telling him about how the game went in his perspective later on, because he always did. He would tell him how his heart beats fast every time he shoots a three-pointer. He would tell him how he felt the pressure because he always knew that his best friend was watching his team’s movements for news, and how he didn’t want to make a single mistake._

_“Oh my god, you’re all puppy eyes now.” Kyungsoo exclaims, his hand covering his mouth as he scanned his friend from head to toe with a judgmental stare. “You’re smiling and glowing, it’s annoying me.”_

Lu Han also remembered that after the game that day, Sehun stole his first kiss and threw caution to the wind when he said yes. His heart flutters again at the thought but he shakes it off, telling himself that those thoughts are meant for later, when they are alone. He nods to his reflection.

When he was done eating breakfast and bid his mom goodbye, the moment he got out of his home, he sees Sehun.

“Good morning, Han.” He greets, plastering the smile that stole Lu Han’s heart all those years ago.

“Morning,” he greets back and immediately grabs Sehun’s hand.

So they walked together with their hands intertwined. Their school was far from their homes, so that’s why they always left together when the sun has risen. Back then, they wouldn’t hold hands—they would actually joke around and distance themselves from one another. But as expected, things do change once you’re more than friends with a person.

Maybe it’s just him, but there was something different about Sehun. It wasn’t something off; rather, it was something comforting and serene.

“I’m starting to think you’re just dating me because of my face.” Sehun jokes and chuckles, making the atmosphere between them less mellow. Lu Han lets go of his hand and hits him really hard at his forearm. The other yelps from the hit and cursed under his breath.

“That was just a joke,” Sehun said with a sigh at the end as he narrowed his eyes at Lu Han. The latter walked ahead, but they weren’t so far from each other. The sun has covered every single part of the street and it shone on them too.

As they kept walking to school, Sehun didn’t dare to come close. Instead, he brought out his DSLR camera from his sling bag and took shots of Lu Han. He took all of it from one angle, and he realized that photos don’t do justice to his boyfriend’s beauty. It _relieves_ him that he’s the only one able to witness him like that for now, and in the future, probably.

Just the mere existence of Lu Han makes Sehun’s heart skip a beat. “Sehun, can you please hurry up?” Lu Han asks and like a puppy chasing after its owner, Sehun jogs to catch up with him. Once they were side by side already, they both reach out for each other’s hands and intertwined them like earlier.

**

It was just a peaceful time before first period. Well, not exactly, since Saeyeol’s blog post was talked about again. Kyungsoo and Lu Han were just grabbing their books from their respective lockers as the gossip went on.

A lot of girls stared at Lu Han’s back as they talked about the possibility of him dating Sehun. Some of them are debating that it’s impossible since the latter has a girlfriend from another school. The gossip was ceaseless, and Kyungsoo was annoyed again.

“They can’t just shut their mouths,” Kyungsoo remarked through gritted teeth as he slams his locker door shut.

“Who are you talking about?” Lu Han asks, turning to his friend.

“It’s obvious.” The other replies shortly and narrows his eyes at the ones who don’t notice him. “They make me realize why I hate interacting with people.”

Lu Han raises an eyebrow. “That means you hate me, too?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “You’re a good guy, and my tolerable friend.” Lu Han nods as he closes his locker and carries his books in one hand.

But the principal is shouting at everyone all of a sudden, shushing the murmurs of the students. Their widened eyes focused on the old woman with both of her hands placed on her hips as she glared at all of them. She looked like a well-groomed witch, with her perfect bun and ironed attire along with her polished stilettos.

Lu Han could hear Kyungsoo sigh next to him as the principal started scolding all of them. It became noise, and they were busy thinking of many things.

Sehun filled Lu Han’s thoughts, as usual. Aside from remembering their conversation yesterday, he could remember the way the other kissed him earlier, at an empty area before they really reached school. It wasn’t as gentle, really—it’s like he was trying to leave a mark on him, something unforgettable. It was more passionate.

That very thought made Lu Han’s cheeks heat up quickly.

The principal still didn’t shut up even when Lu Han came back to his senses. “Just to remind all of you, this is a _Catholic school_ , and all of you will be identified either male or female!”

Nobody really listened, because they were all used to it. The principal seemed like a female priest whenever she preached that heterosexuality was what’s normal. And her opinions on gay people are kind of toxic, but what she exactly said wasn’t remembered word for word.

“And AIDS is what the gay men get for doing it with the same sex, so _never_ do it anal in the near future.”

Now it was heard, and Lu Han has never rolled his eyes so hard. After that little speech in the hallway, the principal leaves and goes straight for her office, while the students were left with violent reactions. He felt bad for the innocent freshmen who were able to hear things involving their anuses.

But anyways, before Lu Han left, he opened his locker again to check if he left anything. He looked at the picture pasted at the back: _a picture of he and Sehun back in middle school._ Sehun was still lanky at the photo, and he had a terrible haircut to boot, but he could say the same thing for himself. A blond wig and pouting his lips in order to look like DBSK’s Jaejoong? _It turned out worse than expected._

He closes his locker door and walks toward his classroom to get ready for first period. _Mathematics_. Well, his grades be damned since he forgot to answer one item that pretty much cost half the score of the assignment, he didn’t have time to cram anymore now that he saw his teacher. Lu Han sighs and settles himself on his assigned chair, ready to endure an hour of numbers.

After classes, he was quite relieved that he still reached the passing mark of the assignment. He pressed his open hand onto his chest and lets out a sigh, ready to go for second period.

Someone grabs him roughly by the arm, and he sees someone with hair that covered the nape of his neck. He looked quite pissed for whatever reason, and Lu Han is sure that the student in front of him was ready to accuse him for it.

“Were you the one spreading shit ‘bout what I did last week?”

Lu Han shook his head and gently gets his grip off his arm. “Don’t involve me, Baekhyun. You know I’m a _sports_ writer in the school organ.”

Baekhyun snickers and glares at him. “How could I trust you, since you wrote bad things about me once?”

“Everyone knew, okay? Now let me go.” Lu Han coolly brushes him off and walks away, shrugging his shoulders in the process. Everyone knew how much of a troublemaker Baekhyun was, and how he is the one breaking their school’s reputation because of his rebellious nature. That boy hated rules.

And this time, Baekhyun’s about to cause trouble.

“You think I didn’t see you and Sehun over winter break?” He called him out.

Lu Han froze in his spot, his eyes widening in shock.

Now, Baekhyun has never been that much of a trouble until that very moment. If Lu Han ever stumbled on his words, everyone will notice and start suspecting. Just one display of nervousness and it’s game over.

They couldn’t be found out.

So Lu Han inhales deeply and exhales as he turns around to face Baekhyun, completely perplexed. “Now what kind of story are you making up now?” He asks through gritted teeth as they had a glaring competition.

“ _Oh wow_ , playing the victim, I see.” Baekhyun remarked with sarcasm, his eyes narrowing. Lu Han was already clenching his fist, but he suppresses himself from starting a fight. _You can’t do this. You have a scholarship to go after._ “Secrets are bound to be revealed, anyway.”

Baekhyun smirks and turns around, walking like the usual rebellious punk he is. Lu Han can’t believe he saw them together; he was now at a loss for words. Before his impulses kicked in, he wanted to ask the other on how he knew, but of course he had to stop himself. School wasn’t the perfect place to ask about that.

And it bothered him for the rest of the day, but he manages to mask it well.

**

_Another perfect three-pointer shot._

Sehun exhales heavily as he hears the ball bounce hard on the floor of the court. Sweat was dripping down his face but he wasn’t going to stop. No, not yet.

He quickly catches up to the ball and dribbles it like it was second nature to him. He jogs around the court as he looks at his fellow players keep an eye on the ball. There wasn’t a bit of fatigue running through his veins as soon as he dashed through his teammates in unmatchable speed, perfectly dribbling the object with both of his hands. The sweat on his forehead was about to go through his eyes, but it doesn’t faze his line of vision.

He doesn’t even bother to wipe his sweat as he managed to get close to the goal area and jump up, successfully scoring a two-pointer even if the other players had great stances for a potential rebound.

Indeed, Oh Sehun proves that he is a great player.

“Good job, guys!” Their coach applauded, and everyone says their thanks, including Sehun.

Now shiny due to the sweat, Sehun decided that he’ll settle on the bench first as he watches his teammates play. But Chanyeol was sitting right next to him, his hair tied of an apple.

Chanyeol is the second best player of the team, and a fellow senior. Sehun feels awkward around him because he knows their coach has favourites. And maybe that was what gives their rapport a strain off court, especially that they’re together for most subjects.

Unfortunately, Chanyeol got injured last week and he is forced to watch them play until he recovers. Until now, no one knows how he got his leg injured.

“So how are you and your girlfriend doing?” Chanyeol asks, turning to Sehun.

Sehun was caught off-guard by the question, but he answers it anyway. “We’re doing fine.”

Chanyeol chuckles, his smile widening. “That sounds boring to me. You haven’t done it yet—,”

The captain was quick enough to cover his mouth. Chanyeol was laughing as he looked at Sehun jokingly. The latter rolls his eyes and puts his hand away before the other licks it.

“You did it already?”

“No, I’m not as sexually active as you.” That was Sehun’s way of saying he’s still a virgin. “And anyways, just because I see boobs or a big dick, doesn’t mean I want to have sex with them.”

Chanyeol looked at him like he was crazy. “So you don’t get hard when you watch porn?”

“Let’s just say I seek emotional attachment.” Sehun answers with a smile.

Silence surrounded them again. Only the sounds of the ball bouncing on the shiny floor rang throughout the gymnasium, but Sehun’s focus was somewhere else.

He’s thinking about Lu Han, and how imagining his smile made his heartbeat lose its synchronization with the ball. But of course, he couldn’t tell Chanyeol that.

After practice was over and Sehun was finally free of sweat, he walks towards the soccer field and he is quite surprised to see no one there. The sky was already dark, and Lu Han must have gone home ahead, but that’s rare.

He and Lu Han often went home together, no matter how late it was.

Concern was filling Sehun’s thoughts as he decided to go home instead, since his boyfriend could be on his own home and he must have been tired from soccer practice. He walks alone, and he isn’t used to it. It’s shown through his body language that he is quite nervous to encounter some gangsters from different schools in bar pubs.

Nonetheless, he still walked and ignored them. Sehun still thought about Lu Han though as he kept walking until it was time for him to turn right. He could be unaware of what would be in front of him sometimes, especially if he’s thinking of a lot of things.

Tonight counts, since as soon as Sehun looked up, he sees a motorbike roaring loudly. Its headlight was directed at the boy and he was too shocked that he stood rigid, but he was able to recover so he took a few steps backward and let the vehicle dash as fast as it could.

And Sehun still walked until he reached his neighborhood, and he sees Lu Han’s mother standing outside of their house.

Mrs. Lu rushed to Sehun from the moment she saw him. “Sehun, did you see Han?”

Sehun wanted to ask the same thing. He shook his head. “We were supposed to come home together but I didn’t see him—,”

He didn’t even get to finish what he said when Mrs. Lu ran to her husband. They were telling each other that their son is probably missing, or he was hanging out at a mall with other friends, but they were still worried. Lu Han wasn’t the type to come home late without telling anybody the reason why, and Sehun is starting to think his boyfriend got himself in danger.

Sehun tells Lu Han’s parents that he was going to look for their son, and he starts his way back to school. He could be there, he thinks as he checks his phone if there are any new messages. The last message was when they said goodnight to each other, and that was it.

He was almost out of the neighbourhood when he got a call. _Lu Han._ His name showed up and he answered it as soon as possible.

“Han, where are you—,”

“This is Baekhyun.”

Deep inside, he could hear a loud siren and see a red light in the back of his eyes. Sehun clenches onto his phone harder as he started speed walking. “Is Lu Han with you?”

“Yes, Sehun! And I’m not hurting him by the way, we’re just…” Baekhyun paused for awhile, and Sehun’s veins are starting to pop. The other just won’t let them live their lives peacefully. “ _Talking._ ”

“I’ll kick your ass if you’ll do _anything_ other than talking!” Sehun screams to the other line, and ends the call.

Sehun wouldn’t want Lu Han to be involved with someone like Baekhyun.

**

Lu Han heard Sehun shouting from Baekhyun’s phone. Of course, it was on loudspeaker for him to be taunted. But the call ended not long ago, and now he’s staring right at the troublemaker. _He got the eyes of a fox_ , he told himself.

“Just tell me what is going on with you and Sehun.”

“For what purpose, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun chortles. “An acquaintance of mine needs to know the real deal, Lu Han.”

“That acquaintance of yours should mind his business!” Lu Han retorts and stands up from his chair, only to be pushed down again by the troublemaker’s gangster friends. The way they gripped his shoulders really hurt, and his butt wasn’t doing so well, either.

A few minutes have passed, and no one spoke. People started leaving the pub. It was already getting late, and minors like them have a curfew. But Baekhyun doesn’t let Lu Han go.

“Unless you tell me what I’m asking for, I won’t let you go home to Sehun.”

Lu Han wanted to cry. His absence will start to worry his parents, and Sehun could be worried to death. _They can’t be found out_ , he told himself many times. _I can’t trust our relationship to Baekhyun._

“We’re just best friends who are too touchy, Baekhyun.” Lu Han lies.

“Lie,” Baekhyun replies, and then chuckles. But he looked kind of irritated. “Just spill it, Lu!”

Before Lu Han could even answer, he can hear his name being called. The voice was too familiar, and relief rushed through his veins. Baekhyun also heard it, and he looked deranged. He slams his fist onto the table and tells his friends that they should go before the former’s savior sees them.

The painful grip on Lu Han’s shoulders was no longer present, and he sees Baekhyun’s group running as fast as they could.

“Han!”

Sehun comes into view, and Lu Han gets up from the chair. He leans onto the other, gripping onto his varsity jacket. The agitation is sinking in.

“We need to go home,” Sehun gently reminds him and Lu Han nods. He wanted to lean on him, and rest in his embrace. _We can’t be found out_ , he tells himself. _We can’t risk what we’ve worked hard for._

They both have sport scholarships to different universities. If the principal finds out about them, she could easily snatch their scholarships away. Knowing her, she could even expel the both of them and not make them enter big universities just because they are… _who they are._

“Han,” Sehun’s voice wakes him up to reality again. “Let’s go home.”

 _Aren’t I home already?_ Lu Han thought as he looks at Sehun.

They then both start walking to the path back to their neighbourhood. He tries not to cry as he holds onto Sehun’s hand tighter than ever. His legs start to weaken as he glances at his boyfriend, his face illuminated by the moon.

_I’m sorry if I’m making this hard for the both of us._

**

The next day, Sehun was called to the principal’s office.

It was in the middle of lunchtime, and his name was paged through the speakers of the campus. Sehun even wondered why he would be called at the hour, but he settles on keeping the question to himself. Maybe the principal called him for something involving the basketball team.

But boy, his blood started to boil as soon as he opened the door. A sight of a boy with a mullet was seated on the other chair, and Sehun wanted to punch the life out of him ever since last night. Despite that, he keeps his cool and greets the principal before taking the empty seat.

Sehun could feel Baekhyun boring his eyes onto his face.

“So Mr. Oh and Mr. Byun, I have heard something from other schools, and I would like to confirm it.” The principal starts, fiddling with her hands as she shifted her gaze from Sehun to Baekhyun. “Were the two of you in a pub last night?”

Baekhyun sighs. “Principal, do you think we would—,”

“Yes, we were in a pub last night, principal.” Sehun interrupts. He said it in such a calm manner that Baekhyun was close to cursing at him from his chair. “But it isn’t for what you’re thinking.”

“Let me explain, Principal!” Baekhyun sounded defensive, and looked troubled. Sehun keeps a monotonous face.

The two students do know who started what happened. Sehun is assured that the principal can sense it now.

“Mr. Oh, could you explain the situation first?”

Sehun nods. “I just got home after practice, and it was quite late already. Lu Han’s parents rushed to me asking where their son was, and I was quite shocked. Lu Han and I would often go home together since we’re neighbours, but there were times when he went home ahead of me. Since I’m his best friend, I got worried. That’s why I contacted him—,”

“Principal, _he’s making it all up!_ ” Baekhyun outbursts, his eyes widened.

Sehun then shuts his mouth, waiting for the principal to say something while Baekhyun tries to clear up the truth. _Serves you right for making my boyfriend cry_ , he thought and tried to hide the smirk about to form in his face.

“Sehun, please continue.” The principal utters, and Baekhyun’s face faltered. His fists started clenching. Sehun could see it, but he told majority of the whole story. The only part he never told was that the other threatened Lu Han to reveal their secret.

Even if Sehun didn’t tell that crucial part, Baekhyun still got suspended for a week. All that he got was a warning to never show up in pubs for it will tarnish their school’s reputation.

As soon as they were out of the office, Sehun walked a bit faster. He had enough of seeing Baekhyun’s face even if they were just there for a few minutes. He just wanted to either be with his teammates in the canteen, or actually see Lu Han.

But he was grabbed by the arm.

He turns around, and glares at Baekhyun. They didn’t say anything, just killing each other with their stares.

Sehun didn’t want to have any more business with him, so he shakes off Baekhyun’s hand, but the latter just grabs it again.

“I hate how Lu Han’s such a lucky guy,” Baekhyun mutters loud enough for Sehun to hear. “You appreciate everything he does for you, and you return it tenfold.”

Baekhyun started not to look like the troublemaker he is. He started to look… _broken._

“I have no chance with _him_ but here I am, getting suspended because I only did what he asked me to do.”

With that, Baekhyun left, and Sehun was flabbergasted.

**

“Don’t you think he’s handsome?” Kyungsoo shoves his phone to Lu Han’s face, and the latter could see a tan-skinned guy wearing the uniform of their rival school. He looked familiar, the latter thought. He looked like a soccer player.

Lu Han chuckles and asks, “I can’t believe you have a crush, out of all people.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Oh come on! Weren’t you, like, _this_ crazy about Sehun before? It’s like you had a crush on him.”

The soccer player’s eyes blink once. “Really?”

“I could write a memoir about it. And I remember you’d say that you were happy because the both of you like Broadway musicals.”

Lu Han blushes, because that was true. There were even times that Sehun and he would share earphones, because they were listening to songs from musicals. But that’s something Kyungsoo will know for later.

“Anyways, speaking of your best friend, he’s here.”

Lu Han’s attention shifted from his phone to the person sporting a smile on his face. _The smile that stole my heart_ , he thought as he looked up.

“Did you guys eat lunch already?” Sehun asks.

“Yeah, we did. Anyways, how come you were paged by the principal earlier?” Kyungsoo talks while staring at the screen of his phone. Lu Han still knows that his close friend’s checking out that guy.

“It’s nothing serious.” Sehun replies with a smile. “Anyways, Han, do you mind if I waste a bit of your time?”

Kyungsoo’s attention zooms away from his phone and he looks at his two friends. “Am I being a third wheel in this?”

“I don’t mind,” Lu Han decides on ignoring Kyungsoo’s remark and gets up from his chair to stand next to Sehun.

They went out of the cafeteria and went to the area of the vending machines instead. Lu Han is quite surprised that Sehun is settling for potato chips and a can of iced coffee for lunch; the latter would always go line up for the cafeteria’s mashed potato and fish fillet. He usually has the appetite, so he started to get worried.

“Sehun-ah, are you sure you’re fine with potato chips?” Lu Han asks gently as he and Sehun both watch the pack of potato chips fall from the transparent glass.

“Well, there’s not much time left. I can go on with this, don’t worry.” Sehun assures him with a smile, along with ruffling Lu Han’s hair. “It’s you whom I am worrying about.”

Lu Han’s eyes widened for a moment, realizing what Sehun meant. “I’m alright, Sehun. You don’t need to worry.”

“Sorry if I’m too worked up about it.” Sehun grabs his pack of potato chips. “You don’t cry as much as I do, that’s why I get worried.”

Lu Han glanced around the area first, to check if there was anyone around. When he made sure that no one is passing by, he pulls Sehun’s blazer with his fist and kisses him.

Sehun’s eyes were wide as saucers but he realizes what his boyfriend was doing, so he closes his eyes before pulling Lu Han closer.

With each press of their lips, Lu Han somehow wished that he could do it even without fearing of people seeing them. Yes, he is aware that public displays of affection are not really allowed, but he just wished that what they were doing was _normal_ and not taboo. Two guys kissing each other wasn’t normal.

As much as Lu Han wanted to sport that _fuck it_ attitude, he couldn’t do so. They have a flower road right ahead of them thanks to the scholarships they worked hard for, and it would be a huge waste if it will be taken away because of their relationship. But for now, he wanted to kiss Sehun like this.

 _I want more_ , Lu Han thought as his grip on Sehun’s blazer tightens. They looked like they were eating each other’s faces at the moment, and the world was getting hazy for the both of them. But Sehun is quickly brought back to reality as he pulls away and rests his face on the crook of the other’s neck.

 _That was great._ Lu Han had no regrets of doing that.

Sehun holds Lu Han’s closed fist, trying to get some air. _Three more minutes before the bell rings_ , he tells himself so he finally stands up straight. The latter sees that his lips were kind of red and puffy.

“We need to get to class.” Sehun reminds Lu Han, and also himself, finally getting his rationality back.

Lu Han nods in agreement. “Yeah, we should,” he replies in a dreamy tone as they distance themselves from each other. He was starting to get back to his senses, and he looks at Sehun again.

“Our lips are swollen.” Sehun utters as he looked anywhere but his boyfriend.

“Let’s just say we had lollipops.” Lu Han says.

“Okay.”

“Yeah.”

“Did I kiss you too hard?”

“Nah, you’re a great kisser.”

“Oh, that’s nice to hear.”

“I love you.” Lu Han blurts senselessly and looks at Sehun dreamily. He was smiling freely, and the latter wanted to kiss the life out of him again.

“I love you more.”

Silence surrounded them, until the bell rang. _Fuck it if we’re late,_ they both thought at the same time and they shared one last kiss before parting ways.

Lu Han sure did hear the bells. Speaking of bells, _I Can Hear The Bells_ from the musical _Hairspray_ plays in his head and he smiles like an idiot.

On his way to class, he receives a text message from his phone. He checks it and it was from Sehun.

_I forgot to say this earlier: I cherish you a lot, Han._

Lu Han’s heart felt like soaring to the message and he texts quickly in reply before entering the classroom. He already braced himself to be scolded by the teacher once he entered, but then again, _fuck it._

_I love and cherish you more than you think, Sehun._

**

A few days have passed, and it was boring. Nothing much is happening until the principal told all the seniors to prepare for prom, which got everyone excited.

Well, Kyungsoo isn’t so excited though, for—

“If Kim Jongin isn’t going to be my prom date, then the prom can go fuck itself.”

“Of course, he wouldn’t be your prom date, Soo.” Lu Han replies with a slight laugh. “He’s from a different school, and he’s a _guy_.”

“Oh come on, I can tell you’re wishing that your best friend’s your prom date!”

 _That’s true_ , Lu Han thought dejectedly to himself, but he ignores Kyungsoo’s retort and proceeds on eating his lunch.

The girls are ecstatic talking about what kind of dress they’ll be wearing. The boys are talking about which girl they’ll be taking out to prom. But here is Lu Han, wishing he has no date to prom and proceeding for a solo flight.

But he’ll feel guilty if he rejects any of the girls who asked him out. He just does not have the heart to let kind girls down. _Especially Yerim_ , he thought to himself as he glances at the said transferee with her new group of friends, raving over her new haircut.

“Hey, guys!” Someone greets them and Kyungsoo grins. Lu Han and he make space for the person in the middle.

“Jonghyun, have you thought about prom?”

“Prom?” Jonghyun shows that he is thinking with his exaggerated facial expressions, a result of being a theatre representative of their campus. He shines on stage, and when he was with Kyungsoo, they were glorious. “Well, I’m just thinking of…eating the food provided?”

“I agree.” Kyungsoo and Jonghyun do a high-five right in front of Lu Han. “I could just eat dinner there and leave.”

Lu Han sighs. “Kyungsoo, prom is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. We can’t go back to that once we start having jobs and personal commitments.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, along with wiggling his index finger from left to right. “I am not going to prom until Kim Jongin is my prom date.”

“Then go to their prom instead.” Lu Han deadpans, his face blank as he stared at Kyungsoo.

Jonghyun chuckles and puts his arms on the two people beside him. “Lu Han, do you seriously think that Kyungsoo would leave you _alone_ during prom?”

Lu Han nods. “Of course, he’s got new eye candy.”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo shouts. “He’s just eye candy, _and_ you’re my best friend. Jongin can waste my time later on, but I won’t let you out of my sight. Especially if you’re with Sehun.”

Jonghyun whistles with delight and his eyes narrow to Lu Han as he moves his face closer to the latter’s. “Ooh, Sehun, huh? You guys are a thing now?”

 _Hell yes_ , Lu Han wanted to answer, but he elbows Jonghyun at his side instead. He yelps in pain, gripping to his side with his free hand.

“That wasn’t necessary!” Jonghyun yells in the most extra way possible.

“We’re just _best friends_ , and nothing more.” Lu Han states and catches everyone’s attention when he exits the cafeteria with clenched fists.

His strong front only crumbles once he’s far from the cafeteria. He felt his heart ache throughout, because Sehun probably heard that since he was with his teammates. He couldn’t take saying that anymore, he realized through every time he denied what he and his _best friend_ had.

Lu Han wanted to cry. He wants to give up the scholarship. He wants to transfer to a new school. He can’t stand the thought of hiding anymore.

“Lu Han, why did you—,”

“Sehun, I give up.”

The latter seemed out of words when he heard that. “What?”

“I don’t understand the point of having a sports scholarship if we just need to keep hiding like this.” Lu Han runs his hands through his face.

“Han, we just need to wait a little. The hiding will be over once we graduate.”

“Why do we need to wait until graduation?” Lu Han yells indignantly at Sehun, his tears starting to flow from his eyes. “It’s not like we’ve committed a huge violation in this school!”

Sehun thought of one thing as he looked at Lu Han, filled with disappointment.

“You were the one who said we needed to hide, Han.”

Lu Han wipes his tears with the back of his hand. But the tears won’t stop flowing as he looks away. _I’ve thought about this for a while now_ , he mentally notes as he stares at nothing.

“I’ll go to the principal. I’ll talk to her—I won’t push through with the scholarship anymore.” Lu Han softly declares, shocking Sehun.

Sehun grabs him by the sides of his forearms and looks at him in disbelief. “Pull yourself together! You can’t just give that up. You told me you wanted to be an athlete.”

Lu Han looks back at him, with a smile he tries very hard to plaster. “I don’t want to be an athlete if it means not being with you.”

Honestly, Sehun felt the same. But they can’t give up their future. A promising future is ahead of them, and they’re just in high school.

But he doesn’t say that out loud. Instead, he embraces him, and keeps his mouth shut.

Little did they know that someone heard and recorded all of it.

**

Soccer practice is ongoing, but Lu Han’s mind isn’t coordinating with his body as he kicks at nothing but the grass, and trips on air. Looking at the goal area made his stomach sink low, and focusing on the ball trapped between his two feet made him want to cry. His teammates did notice it, but they didn’t dare talk to the captain. There was a nimbus cloud on top of his head, and it couldn’t go away.

Kyungsoo notices it, too. At first while sitting on the grass, he was too focused on stalking Kim Jongin’s Instagram account, even gushing over the beauty of his feed. But there were countless times when Lu Han approached him for his water bottle, and he would hand it over. _His hands were shaky_ , he noticed as he could feel the bottle nearly slip from the latter’s hands.

That’s why he is keeping close attention on Lu Han, even checking his body language. For the first time since he started crushing on Kim Jongin, he has kept his phone on his pocket as he watched the practice match. _Han’s team is losing_ , he thought as he saw his other teammates check up on their captain.

But Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as he looked at Lu Han’s face. Why are his eyes reddening? Is he seeing sweat or tears? He didn’t think for a second as he approached his friend in the field, and escorts him to the place where their bags lay in the grass field.

When they both sat down, Lu Han broke down and kept calling Sehun in the midst of sobbing. Kyungsoo just rubs his shoulder for comfort.

Rest of the soccer players went on with the match, without Lu Han. Kyungsoo tried contacting Sehun’s number but it only rung. He understood, since his friend’s best friend also had basketball practice. All he could do was sigh. _What did they even talk about yesterday?_

“Kyungsoo.”

That was the first time Lu Han said his name after ceaselessly calling Sehun’s name while crying. “What is it?” He asks, and he sounds far from his usual snarky self.

“If Jongin actually told you he liked you for a long time, and you liked him too, would you say yes if he asked you to be his boyfriend?” Lu Han asks and he sniffs in between, wiping away tears that just kept flowing.

Kyungsoo didn’t hesitate, feeling the giddiness from hearing his crush’s name, “Of course!”

“No matter what will happen after that? Even if it gets risky?”

“Yes, Lu Han. You would say yes if you do love the person, right?”

Lu Han’s tears flowed more after hearing his friend’s answer. “But it’s risky, then isn’t it stupid?”

Kyungsoo smiles at Lu Han. “Yes, it is. It’s dangerous, but that’s what should strengthen a connection between two people.”

Lu Han broke down even more and Kyungsoo makes his friend’s head rest on his shoulder. “Keep the faith, Lu Han.”

“How come you’re so good with words already?” Lu Han sobs.

“Wow, that’s just insulting to my intelligent brain.” Kyungsoo replies snarkily, but he returns to his rare soft tone right after. “But have faith in Sehun. Have faith in the love you both share.”

The wind blew strongly, caressing Kyungsoo’s hair as he looks up at the sky. The sun was about to set, with blending hues of purple, orange, yellow, red, and pink coating the white skies.

“How did you know about Sehun and I?” Lu Han sounded more stable as he asked Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo chuckles as he recalls fondly on how he knew.

_It was an ordinary day within the winter break. There were piles of snow surrounding the mall, so the trio had no choice but to stay inside a little more before going home._

“I want ice cream,” Kyungsoo mutters out of nowhere. He walks in between Sehun and Lu Han and grabs their arms. He actually did this in purpose, because his friend, and his friend’s best friend were too clingy since they entered the mall.

“Are you sure?” Sehun sounded astonished as he looked at Kyungsoo—looking down, actually. “It’s freezing cold and you want ice cream.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and shoves his face away with his hand. He clings onto Lu Han’s arm instead with both arms. “Han, treat me to ice cream.”

Lu Han smiles at him, looking apologetic. “My wallet’s empty.”

Kyungsoo looks at the two of them respectively, really giving them the incredulous look. He was invited by these two idiots but they don’t have money? He scoffs and rolls his eyes, stating, “I’ll just treat myself.”

He stomps to the nearest ice cream parlor with two clenched fists at his sides. Kyungsoo could hear some girls cooing at him, saying that he was cute and all, but he ignores for he isn’t cute. He could be described as anything, but cute? Oh hell no.

The stomping was done to attract Sehun and Lu Han to go in the parlor with him, but he turns back and he gawks.

First of all, he is not stupid to actually think that a kiss on the forehead was a gesture of friendship unless it looked like a joke. But it didn’t look like a prank as he saw the glint in Sehun’s eyes when he looked at Lu Han. Even when he called for their attention in a way that wasn’t scandalous, they were just too stuck up on each other.

That was how his dad would look at his mom, Kyungsoo thought. It was that indescribable spark, and it made the eyes glassy, like a precious tear was about to be shed. And he saw that with his two friends.

But Kyungsoo didn’t find that shocking. The way how Lu Han gushes over Sehun ever since the start of high school makes the feelings obvious in his eyes.

“It was when I stomped to the ice cream parlor, and I caught Sehun kissing your forehead. And I saw that spark in his eyes when he looked at you.”

Lu Han asks, “What kind of spark?”

“He looked at you the way how my dad looked at my mom every single day; almost crossing that _I’m about to cry_ look,” Kyungsoo cringes whenever he thinks about that look. It makes him want to vomit rainbows. “But from that look, I can tell that Sehun loves you a lot.”

“Does he?” Lu Han sounded doubtful.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes for the nth time. “ _Duh_ , he must have known what was to come already even if he asked you to be his boyfriend. But he loves you, so he must have told himself, _fuck it_.”

And for the first time that day, Lu Han genuinely smiles and hugs Kyungsoo by the waist tightly. There were still tears brimming from the corners of his eyes, but he was happy. He also felt guilty.

_I should go over to his house and apologize._

**

Lu Han and Sehun didn’t go home together.

Lu Han approached their school’s basketball coach, asking where he was and if their training was over. But he was told that their captain didn’t attend practice, for he said he didn’t feel so well. _It’s my fault_ , he told himself as soon as he got out of the court and walked home alone. Through the route he takes, he encountered his teammates at a famous snack bar, but they were looking at him worriedly.

He knew he looked like a mess as of that moment, but he couldn’t care less.

Baekhyun was one of the few people he encountered. He was just leaning onto a wall and stared at him as he walked. He sported a look of envy, and Lu Han didn’t want to know why for now.

“Lu Han,” Baekhyun softly called his name. The called person gives him his attention.

“Be careful with Sehun from now on. You’re being watched.”

Lu Han acted like he ignored it, but he felt fear crawling up to his chest as he started walking again. _What did he mean?_ He asked to no one. He digs his nails into the fabric of his backpack strap.

All scary thoughts of being revealed vanish as soon as he reaches their neighborhood and he sees Sehun’s mother getting out of their van. She was carrying a lot of paper bags, so Lu Han rushes over.

“Mrs. Oh, let me help you with that!” He exclaims as he rushes over to her, just as one of the paper bags were about to fall.

Sehun’s mother was surprised with the gesture, but she smiles. Her eyes form into rotated moon crescents as she does so. “Oh thank you, Hannie.”

Through this, he manages to go to the door of their house. He stops there, since Mrs. Oh was carrying most of the paper bags. She carried them with ease and she was keeping a huge smile on her face. Lu Han could still remember his days during middle school, when he would be given a pack of fresh choco chip cookies from her as a snack.

“Could you ring the doorbell, Hannie?” She asks as soon as they stood next to each other.

“I could,” Lu Han answers and presses on the doorbell twice. They silently wait.

Mrs. Oh seemed giddy. She looks quite happy, maybe because she’s going to cook her family’s favorite dish.

“Um, Mrs. Oh, did Sehun attend basketball practice today?” Lu Han asks while tapping his foot on the mat that had ‘WELCOME’ written on it.

Mrs. Oh shakes her head. “He told me he feels a bit sick.”

Five minutes have passed and no one has answered the door yet. Lu Han could see that Mrs. Oh’s arms were close to giving up so he presses the button again and grabs the rest of the paper bags.

Mrs. Oh smiles at him apologetically. Lu Han noticed that she always smiled, and he finds it cute that Sehun didn’t inherit that trait from his mother.

“I’m about to kick this door,” Mrs. Oh utters with a soft tone, contrary to what she is actually implying.

“But buying a door costs a lot, ma’am.” Lu Han pipes in.

“My boys can fix it.” Mrs. Oh deadpans, and Lu Han laughs.

The two of them suddenly hear the door unlock.

Lu Han’s heart feels like it’s going to explode as soon as he sees the person right in front of them. But it starts hurting as soon as he could see the soreness in his eyes.

“Hun, are you alright?” Mrs. Oh asks as soon as they enter.

Sehun fakes a smile. “I’m fine. I just have been crying since my snot can’t stop falling.”

Lu Han knew that Sehun was crying as much as he did today, but he thinks that his boyfriend got it worse. He thinks of all of the emotions building up inside him. His heart breaks.

“Come in,” Sehun says casually but he doesn’t look at Lu Han. The latter understands, so he thinks it wasn’t best to talk to him for now.

“I’ll be going back to my home,” Lu Han offers Sehun the paper bag he carried and takes a step back, but—

“Stay.”

He looks up at Sehun, seeing his lips shake. He prevents it by biting his lip, and Lu Han knew that that was a common habit of his. “Please stay.”

How could Lu Han say no to that?


	2. The World Doesn't Need To Know (Our Love)

Lu Han doesn’t say no, and he now finds himself in Sehun’s room.

He could see the trashcan near his bed. There were a lot of crumpled tissues and he was charging his phone. Sehun was clean, as always, even in times wherein he was sad. Of course, he wasn’t the type of son to show to his parents his sadness. He didn’t like spreading negative energy; he’d rather keep it in his room.

The negative energy was greatly felt in the room. He sits down on the edge of Sehun’s bed, and he sees his phone ring. His lockscreen was shown: a picture of him. Lu Han’s eyes widen, and he feels his heart running again as he sees himself in his boyfriend’s phone, smiling into the camera.

Just as he was going to touch his phone, the door opens and Sehun’s figure could be seen. He was holding a tray that had two glasses of milk, and Lu Han could see a mountain of chocolate chip cookies. Mrs. Oh knew too well that he loved her speciality too much.

Sehun places the tray on the floor and turns around to push the door to a close. Lu Han could see that his shoulders were slumping, making him slouch. And he never slouched.

“How come you didn’t attend your practice?” Lu Han asks, sounding reluctant and quiet. He focuses on his toes and gets off of the edge of the bed, sitting on the floor instead.

“Well, I felt sick.” Sehun replies shortly and sits down next to the tray; the object was obviously keeping Lu Han and him apart. “So I skipped practice, like you told me to whenever I felt sick.”

Lu Han finally looks up at him, and he doesn’t see a trail of sickness in his features. His lips weren’t even pale. But he did look sad, and he feels sorry.

“I’m sorry,” Lu Han blurts out and stands up from the floor. “I might be bothering you right now, just tell Mrs. Oh—,”

He was grabbed by the hand, and he falls.

Lu Han falls on Sehun’s lap, eyes widening. They weren’t as close as this before. Even if they’re one year into dating each other, they never got _that_ close. The latter always made sure they had a little bit of distance so that it’d be more comfortable, but damn.

They both have the urge to kiss the life out of each other now.

Sehun, Lu Han realizes, smells like vanilla. He always hated how strong the scent was when it came to other people, but with his boyfriend, it was calming. It could actually lull him to sleep, but he does not focus on that. That will be for later.

Realizing the position they were in, Sehun tries to adjust and pull himself away from Lu Han but the latter resists. Instead, he gets closer to him, to the point that their breaths mingle.

Lu Han wraps his arms around Sehun’s neck. The latter’s cheeks flush pink.

“A-Aren’t you awkward, in the position we’re in now?” Sehun asks shyly as he reluctantly wraps his arms around Lu Han’s waist.

Lu Han shakes his head. Now that speaks louder rather than saying no.

People would be expecting that they kiss and make up, like it was the usual. Like a kiss on the lips and a couple of apologies is going to assure anyone that everything would be alright. But that isn’t the case with the two.

Instead, Lu Han rests his face on Sehun’s widening shoulders, and closes his eyes. He didn’t imagine he would actually want this all this time—just less space, and less noise. All he knew was that he was there, right in his lifeline’s arms, and he wishes that he would get more chances to be close to him like that until he grows older. It was just the two of them, confined in a room where no one can see them.

And that was comforting. They weren’t in front of society’s judgmental eyes after all.

“This is comforting,” Sehun utters after a while, suddenly holding one of Lu Han’s hands and caressing it gently.

Lu Han smiles and nuzzles his nose on Sehun’s neck. “I know.”

“We need to eat the cookies mom made for you.”

“I know.”

They were simply hugging a while ago, now they were cuddling, trying to hug each other as tight as they could. _Because this moment could be taken away from me_ , Lu Han thought.

He was quite scared. Now that Kyungsoo knows—actually, he already knew—Lu Han isn’t sure if he could trust him any longer. That fear is now alive, lurking at the back of his head, telling him that he might be the one breaking them apart. So he opens his eyes, tears pooling from the corners of his eyes.

“Sehun-ah.”

“Hm?”

“Are you afraid?” Lu Han pulls away, now facing Sehun rather than resting his face on his shoulder.

“Afraid of what?” Sehun asks, pulling a strand away from his boyfriend’s face with his hand.

“What if at some point, we’ll be forced to break up?” Lu Han answers him back with a question, and the tears flow down his cheeks.

Sehun shakes his head. “Let’s not make that happen. But if it ever does…” He trails off and caresses Lu Han’s cheeks with both hands, a smile on his face. The sun creeping from the window was illuminating his smile, and he was actually crying too.

“Just know that even if it will happen, I love you,” He says the last three words with such emotion that Lu Han wanted to cry. “And I will never regret showing how much I love you like right now.”

Lu Han does cry, and he presses his lips on Sehun. For sure, they must have abandoned the cookies in the process, but he doesn’t regret anything.

Because when they were in middle school, Lu Han realized he loved Sehun when he was willing to take a load of punches from the people who bullied the latter, even if he didn’t like getting his face marred by bruises.

**

One of the things that Sehun hated the most about school was Values class. That very subject always seemed to mock the LGBTQ+ community through every class, or maybe it was just his school that was like that. Nonetheless, he always had to suffer for an hour every day hearing homophobia come out from the teacher’s mouth.

Today was nothing special.

Sehun hasn’t heard that they were also giving a hint of sex education in the subject, since he also hears topics of sexual abstinence and all. He agrees in silence as he listens, while jotting down notes.

“Don’t give your virginity easily to anyone, girls! Your dignity comes along with it.” Their teacher preaches as he discusses what was in his Powerpoint presentation. Sehun looks at the girls who rolled their eyes. _They must be not virgins, I guess._

“And boys! Don’t spurt it on just anywhere. Don’t even try to masturbate.” Their teacher added further, saying the last sentence and raising his teaching stick at the same time. The rest of his male schoolmates whine around him, saying such things like it’s impossible to not _fap_ to hot ladies and such.

Now, this is where Sehun doesn’t agree or disagree. He stays neutral, for he doesn’t relate.

Ever since he was a budding adolescent the moment he turned thirteen, he couldn’t seem to understand the pleasure his friends felt while watching porn. He didn’t understand what felt so good about watching two people fucking. Due to a dare, he was forced to watch a porn video one night. Of course he isn’t stupid; the website was on incognito mode.

There he watched the erotic spectacle that is porn. Sehun was quite scared when he didn’t get hard after watching a ten-minute video of explicit sex. He was used to hearing people say that it makes guys go hard, whether it be intentional or unintentional. He convinced himself that it was probably because the video wasn’t so satisfactory. But even if he watched a really good pornographic video, it still didn’t work.

Sehun was then convinced that he could probably be impotent.

That is, until his then new neighbour Lu Han befriended him. With him, Sehun felt like he was in his comfort zone. Conversations seemed endless with a foreigner who only knew little Korean at that time, and he never had a friend like him. He got so attached, to the point that they opened up about everything.

Lu Han, somehow in between, told him he was gay. Back then, Sehun wasn’t even aware of what that meant. “That means I don’t go for girls; I go for boys instead.” His new friend explained one day with a mouth full of rice but a smile on his face.

And that was when Sehun was convinced that he wasn’t _normal_ like the rest. He felt no attraction for anyone, even his closest friends before Lu Han. He was romantically distant, and it was very wrong to him. His thoughts transformed into literal punches from bullies, calling him an _alien_ and _weirdo_ just because he didn’t have the same pattern of attraction as everyone else did.

 _At least Lu Han still liked someone_ , Sehun would think bitterly as he cried himself to sleep.

But when the bullies hurting Sehun somehow reached Lu Han, the latter was some kind of superhero who butted in that day. Even he was distraught as he saw the then transferee with his long sleeves rolled up and soft hands, clenched into fists. He was beaten up more than usual that day, so he lost consciousness as soon as his friend punched one of them.

He woke up only to see Lu Han’s face first zooming in, but he had a scratch by his eyebrow and a bruise at the corner of his lip. Sehun wanted to cry because _he had to go through all of that for me_ and he literally cried when his friend assured him. “Ah, these wounds heal, don’t worry about me!”

Sehun didn’t want to face him anymore when Lu Han asked him if he was alright.

But he broke down when Lu Han asked this very question: “How come you didn’t tell me?”

For the first time, he cried in Lu Han’s embrace that day. And things just got from there. He was told that he wasn’t a weirdo. He finally knew what the label to his sexual orientation was. He started having feelings.

Sehun smiles at the thought, completely ignoring the discussion and lets the teacher’s words pass from one ear to another.

That is, until he hears his phone ring faintly. He fishes it out of his pocket and checks it beneath the table. He couldn’t get caught playing with his phone or else he’ll be suspended.

He looks down slightly. _You have to see this!!!_ It was a message on their batch’s group chat in Kakao Talk. It also had a video attached to the message. Sehun raises an eyebrow, but keeps the phone back in his pocket.

The bell rings, and the teacher dismisses all of them. Rest of his classmates were in a rush as they all went outside of the room, and only Sehun remained. He fishes for his phone again and texts the first person that first came into his mind.

_Hannie, where are you? Let’s have snacks together._

Sehun seems contented with the text. He presses send. He smiles and grabs his notebook, proceeding to the hallway where his locker was for his next class.

But a group of sophomore girls were crowding over him before he could reach his locker. He looks at all of them. “I’m sorry, but what’s the commotion?”

“Sehun oppa, please tell us if you’re dating Lu Han!”

His eyebrows scrunch together at the question. “What’s going on?”

A bunch of phones were shoved at his face showing a similar video, but Sehun feels his heart throbbing in his chest as he sees who are the people involved.

_Lu Han and I, in a video. He told me about his frustrations about…why? Who recorded it?_

His lips press together, forming a thin line. He sighs to display frustration, but then he states, “Whoever did that edited it.”

Some of the girls screamed in delight while some looked devastated. In the midst of walking away from them, he heard some of them mutter, “I do wish they end up together.”

 _If only you knew_ was what he wanted to respond.

Feeling anger bubble up to his throat, he looks around for anyone who seemed suspicious. It was easy to just suspect anyone—but he can’t just point his finger at Baekhyun. The troublemaker has been quiet for a while now, and he doesn’t even cause a ruckus anymore. But he isn’t so sure.

Now he and Lu Han need to deal with denying what was in the video. He rubs his forehead out of frustration. He should have seen this coming.

 

The whole day, Sehun decided that he won’t go with Lu Han for lunch. They also won’t go home together. Even if the latter didn’t want to at first, he agreed. It was better than causing a ruckus that the principal would greatly dislike.

Even in basketball practice, the boys would tease him around. Sehun knew that his teammates always rooted for Lu Han to be his end game, ever since he got in the team and became close friends with them. It’s because his other teammates are queer too.

 _Very lucky people_ are what Sehun dubbed them to be. _At least, they are free to express themselves even if they are in this mess of a school._ He thought to himself as he gets out of court and quenches his thirst with a bottle of water. Little did he know that someone was chuckling at him from a distance, also quenching his thirst with a huge gulp of water.

Sehun places the bottle down on the bench and turns to Chanyeol. The latter’s leg recovered fully, and he’s able to participate in the upcoming games. But there was something malevolent about his aura right now, and he doesn’t know why.

“Sehun-ah, what’s up with you lately?” Chanyeol asks, bringing him back to reality. Sehun looks back at him, his eyes wide. His teammate was sporting his signature confident smirk, but it was only his taunting technique during games.

_Why is he looking at me like that?_

“Ah, nothing!” Sehun replies and proceeds to wipe his sweat, avoiding Chanyeol’s stare in the process.

Later on, as practice ended, Sehun is fresh off the shower. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he walks to the lockers and is surprised to see Chanyeol, fully clothed. He was now plastering his wide grin as he leans on his locker with his arms crossed.

“Sehun-ah, are you hiding something?”

Sehun shakes his head. Droplets of water started to sprinkle as he did so, even Chanyeol. He reaches out for his wet locks and brushes it backward, keeping it away from his eyes. “What makes you think I’m keeping a secret?”

“Dude, the video is a hot topic.”

 _Really now?_ He feigns naivety as he softly asks, “What are you talking about?”

“Come on, you were approached by girls for confirmation, Oh.” Chanyeol chuckles at the end of his sentence. Sehun saw him rolling his eyes, and he felt like he was being insulted. “Ah, never mind, that topic’s for later.”

With that, he walked away. And Sehun felt a chill down his spine. _This is not good._

 

Sehun goes home without Lu Han, but before dinner, he makes sure to go to the latter’s house.

He comes up to the door, and presses the doorbell once. He waits for a couple of seconds before he heard shuffling footsteps and the click of the door.

Lu Han was the first person he saw, which was better. They smile at each other before his boyfriend drags him inside by the hem of his white t-shirt and the door closes.

“Where’s Mrs. Lu?” Sehun asks the very moment he was inside. Lu Han was already grabbing his hand and leading the way to his room as they go up the staircases.

“My dad’s taking my mom out on a date.”

“Oh.”

The door to Lu Han’s room was actually open. There was so much memorabilia of his father’s team back then. His father used to be a soccer player, representing China in international Olympics and such, until he got injured in the tendon. Since then, he quitted the said sport, but he got Mrs. Lu in exchange for that.

And they had a son who was continuing his dream. Sehun smiles as he looks at Lu Han’s messy hair.

Sehun was shocked when Lu Han pushed him down towards the bed as soon as he got his bag off. _This wasn’t what I expected_ , he thought as he looked up at the latter, his eyes glazed with intent he couldn’t decipher.

 _Not now,_ Sehun thought. _Han, we need to get married in order to do this._

Lu Han stared at him as he played with the hem of his own shirt, and Sehun wanted to get up. But he just laid there, completely frozen everywhere but his eyes, wondering what this surprising creature would do next.

But Lu Han plops down on the bed, next to him. He reaches his arm and leg out, not giving any more space for Sehun to move. He attached himself to the shocked, immovable man like a koala.

Silence filled the atmosphere, and Sehun couldn’t breathe, literally. Lu Han’s leg was weighing heavily on his stomach.

“Han…” He calls silently. “I can’t breathe.” Lu Han moves closer, leaning his head onto Sehun’s chest and his leg moves away from his stomach, settling on free air instead.

Sehun can finally breathe steadily. He turns to Lu Han, who seemed like he was starting to fall asleep.

“Are you tired?” He softly asks, proceeding to wrap an arm around Lu Han’s waist.

“Yep,” was Lu Han’s short answer. He scrunches his eyebrows together for a second and opens his eyes, looking at Sehun. “Very tired.”

He could sense how down Lu Han was. Sehun understood—after all, the video was something unexpected, and they both don’t know who even spread it. So he smiles and jokingly asks, “Are you tired of seeing my face now?”

Lu Han’s hand comes in contact with Sehun’s cheeks. “Ow!”

“That joke isn’t helping,” Lu Han exclaims and he buries his face at the crook of Sehun’s neck. “I don’t wanna break up with you.”

His voice was muffled, which made his reply sound like he was doing baby talk, and Sehun found that endearing. He brings Lu Han closer and their limbs entangle, spreading warmth because it was cold in the room.

“Me too.” Sehun kisses Lu Han’s forehead. “We’ve come so far to give up now, right?”

Lu Han nods. “The video might reach the principal.”

“We just have to say that it’s edited, or whatever.”

“It’s hard to say that it’s edited. There’s no one in our school who’s good in making CGI effects.”

“Then let’s threaten them to delete the video. Bribe the one who recorded it with money or something.”

“But who recorded it?”

Lu Han sits up and looks back at Sehun, still asking a question through his expressive doe eyes.

Sehun couldn’t answer the question, for he also doesn’t know. He can’t just accuse anyone who’s capable of doing that, because it could be anyone who isn’t even close to them.

“I don’t know,” Sehun replies.

They sigh at the same time. Things have gotten from bad to worse.

**

The next day, the video was still discussed among their schoolmates. Suspicious glances came their way every time, and no matter how many times they denied, they still wouldn’t keep quiet. _I’m sure that it’s them_ and _they could be lying_ were what they said often, and they knew…they were doomed.

If no one was going to believe them, who else would? Right?

Aside from the video, the topic regarding the nominees for prom king was endless. The lucky boys were chosen by the seniors in the student council, and out of a hundred, there were the strong six.

 _Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun, Kim Miinseok, Jung Haein, Yook Sungjae, and Ong Seungwoo._ What was shocking was Haein’s nomination; he’s a transferee that year but since his kindness and handsomeness shone so much, they picked him. For the rest of the nominees, they are flower boys.

But Sehun’s nomination led to a lot of jokes, including making Lu Han a nominee in prom queen.

Saying that it angered Lu Han was an understatement.

“Lu, we need to think logically before punching people in the face.” Kyungsoo reminds him as he massages Lu Han’s shoulder, sending his rational energy to his friend. He was literally feeling it as he intensified his massage.

“Kyungsoo, please cut classes with me.” Lu Han sounded so exasperated as he begged, leaning his back onto the chair.

“We are in a Catholic institution of learning.” Kyungsoo deadpans and he doesn’t stop massaging Lu Han’s shoulders. “We won’t just be sinning against the student handbook and the principal. We’re also sinning against God.”

“But you’re an atheist, right?”

“You’re a Catholic, Lu Han.” Kyungsoo deadpans, but this time, in English with his natural slightly American accent.

Lu Han groans and looks at the people in the cafeteria. Some were looking at Sehun, who was currently with his teammates. Some were looking at him, sensing his frustration as he looked at them. They all looked away.

He had to deal with it the whole day, and the prom queen jokes were ceaseless as his female schoolmates would crack it up when they pass him by. He wasn’t amused when his teammates joined along.

“Lu Han hyung, why don’t you run for prom queen? I’m sure Sehun hyung will get a lot of votes.” Their freshman soccer extraordinaire, Mark Lee, joked during practice. The rest of their teammates rushed over to him and told him to shut up.

But it was too late. A vein was already visible on Lu Han’s neck. “If I hear that joke one more time, I’ll make sure the soccer ball hits your dick.” Mark suddenly turns pale and gulps, keeping quiet right after. His silence lasted throughout the whole practice.

And when practice was over, he gets out of school with Kyungsoo, who seemed giddy fiddling with his phone. Lu Han slightly tilts his head to check what was going on in his phone, only to see he was texting someone.

The name displayed was Kim Jongin. The soccer player from their rival school was having casual introductory talk with Kyungsoo, and Lu Han’s friend was close to losing his shit.

“You didn’t tell me you and Jongin are already texting.”

“Oh, it just started yesterday!” Kyungsoo chirps as he types something again. Jongin replies fast. “He saved me from becoming a potential kidnapping victim.”

_No wonder why Kyungsoo seemed kinder today._

Lu Han smiles at seeing his friend happy. “That’s good.”

They already passed by the school gates, and they’re finally in the outside world. They proceed to a snack bar that sold specifically potato snacks: potato chips, French fries, mashed potato, and the like. As soon as they entered the snack bar, the smell of potatoes welcomed them. Kyungsoo seemed like the happiest person in the world the moment he took in the delicious aroma.

The various stalls were serving fresh snacks. They must have anticipated the number of students that would visit them at this time.

And to Lu Han’s surprise, Baekhyun was there occupying a table. He was alone eating French fries. They shared eye contact, but the troublemaker was the one who looked away first.

He hasn’t been causing trouble in school for a while.

“Lu Han, what do you want to eat?” Kyungsoo asks as he goes around the stalls like a hunger-crazed maniac. Lu Han needed to control his friend this time around.

“I’ll just have some fresh potato chips, Soo.”

Kyungsoo treats him to fresh potato chips coated with sour cream. Lu Han smiles as soon as he saw the crispy chips get coated with his favourite flavour, and as soon as it was fully coated, it was placed in a paper bag. The oil from the chips creased the paper bag. _Yum_.

“Here’s your food,” Kyungsoo hands the paper bag to Lu Han.

“Thanks!”

Lu Han ordered potato chips because this was one of Sehun’s favourites, which also became his favorite. If his boyfriend liked cheese coating, he liked sour cream.

The two find a table to occupy, but Baekhyun gets up from his chair and grabs Lu Han’s arm. It wasn’t forceful and bruising like before—it was weaker and it seemed like his hand was going to fall off.

“I know who recorded the video.” Baekhyun sounded choked up, and it worried Lu Han a little.

“Are you okay?” Lu Han asked instead. Baekhyun looked like he was about to cry as he looked at him straight in the eyes.

Kyungsoo approaches the two of them, and offers Baekhyun to sit at their table, but he kindly declines. He said he needed to meet someone, so he got out of the snack bar.

But before Lu Han couldn’t see, Baekhyun mouthed a name with teary eyes. And then he got the message.

**

“Park Chanyeol for prom king!”

Chanyeol does a campaign for seniors as he puts up posters of his face. It was a reminder to everyone to vote for him, and how could his loyal female supporters say no? He just smiles, and they get swooned immediately.

He smiles all throughout, and he looked dashing, as always. He didn’t put up that many posters in the hallways but I hope his fellows do get the message: _vote for me to be your prom king._ Chanyeol grins as soon as he sees boys and girls gawk at his face.

 _Rip_. A poster of his was snatched from the wall, and it was torn in the middle. It falls to the floor, and Chanyeol just utters, “Seriously?”

He is now face to face with Sehun, who looked completely furious about something. But whatever that was, Chanyeol didn’t want to hear it for now.

“What’s your problem, Chanyeol?” Sehun snarls at him as he took one step forward. The people surrounding them were speechless—because they never saw the basketball captain look so angry. “Why did you do it?”

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow, and he starts glaring. “What are you talking about, Sehun?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Park.” Sehun retorts as he took another step forward.

Silence surrounded them. Chanyeol looked cocky and disinterested. Sehun looked like he was about to throw a fist to the person’s face.

“Tell me what it is, Oh. We’re causing a scene.”

“Why did you record the video?”

Loud gasps were heard. The boys looked like their souls left their bodies from so much shock. _Can’t it be?_ The crowd questioned as they looked at Sehun and his clenched fists.

“Who said I recorded it?” That was Chanyeol’s only response and he even laughs, which provokes Sehun.

The punch echoed and Chanyeol loses his balance, falling to the ground with an aching cheekbone. Some rushed to him as soon as possible, but there were some who held Sehun back, preventing him from starting a fight.

“Stop acting tough, Park Chanyeol!” Sehun shouts with gritted teeth, his stare scaring some of the students away. It was an expression none of them could forget, but Chanyeol gets back up without the help of anyone.

Chanyeol just stood there and laughed. He was expecting everyone to laugh with him but no one did. They didn’t want to laugh in front of a scary Sehun, and the situation wasn’t even funny.

“Why are you even dating Lu Han in the first place, Sehun-ah?”

“What’s it to you?”

Some of the girls already started whispering. _Knew it._ But there were some who were trying not to get angry at Chanyeol.  _He could have just left them in peace, why did he have to do that?_

“You do know that once this reaches the principal, you will be robbed of your scholarship with Lu Han, and not only that.” Chanyeol approaches Sehun until they could really see each other’s faces. Sehun tries to compose himself. “You’ll ruin this school’s reputation, _faggot_.”

Sehun wasn’t affected with what he was labelled as. He anticipated this already. Chanyeol wasn’t that much of an open-minded person, after all. He chuckles and rolls his eyes, because he wasn’t as offended as he should be.

“Why don’t I tell everyone about how you use Baekhyun to relieve your sexual frustrations, _faggot number two_.” Sehun counters and everyone was flabbergasted. Chanyeol’s eyes widen, and he runs out of words. He only muttered _how did you know_ under his breath. His eyes start to shake as he glances at everyone.

“You have been doing it since we were freshmen, and yet you act like an angel when you grace this campus’s halls. You claim you’re straight yet your actions say otherwise. I bet being a _faggot_ is better than messing with people’s feelings, isn’t it?”

Chanyeol was rendered speechless. He walks away, pushing Sehun to the side and the rest in the process. Shame was written all over his face.

"Don't just walk away, Park!"

There was enough distance between the two of them, and the people were still too scared to move.  _Come on_ , the two of the star athletes in the school are fighting.

"You've already revealed enough." Chanyeol states with gritted teeth.

"I only knew you did it from Lu Han, and Baekhyun told him because  _he knew_. I couldn't even find the urge to spare you when Baekhyun told me you wanted me to get expelled and get the scholarship for yourself."

Gasps. Shame. Shame written all over poor Park Chanyeol's face.

"But you know what? You can get the scholarship if you want to. I'd rather live knowing I'm a _demisexual_ than forcing myself to hide it every day."

The queer people amidst the crowd whooped for Sehun and applauded him, because no one came out publicly in their campus.  _As expected, one half of the dynamic duo_ , they thought.

Chanyeol yells for everyone to get out of his way, and he walks out. No one seemed to care about him.

Sehun kind of felt guilty for revealing all his dirt but that was what he kind of did the same thing to him the moment he recorded the video. He doesn’t even know what Chanyeol’s true motive was for it, but he didn’t want to see his teammate’s face for now. He just might beat him to a pulp.

The crowd started to separate, and Sehun still stood there. _Han’s not going to like this_ , he thought to himself as he started to reflect on his actions a moment ago. He sees Baekhyun who passes by him with teary eyes, like he didn’t exist, and like nothing happened.

Sehun understood. Baekhyun loved Chanyeol.

Now he has to deal with the questions regarding what happened, including the video, and his status with Lu Han. His boyfriend will face the same thing—they’re close enough to getting exposed.  _Only the principal doesn't know_.

And the chance of their scholarships taken away from them is high. But Sehun was ready for all of this happening from the very moment he asked Lu Han to be his a year ago.

He sighs. I hope for the best.

**

Prom was fast approaching, and the students got dates. Some of the hottest hetero (Cheon Saeyeol stated this in her newest blog) couples are paired up for prom, and the students in the lower levels are updated with the _promposals_ that kept coming everyday.

The latest promposal was from Choi Minho, a member of the soccer team. He made the whole soccer team dance even if most of them couldn’t bop to a tune properly to Choi Sulli, the school’s flower girl. It occurred in the soccer field, and the soccer player got his sweetest response right after.

Everything was going well for majority of the senior students. Let’s emphasize the word _majority_. There are some people who aren’t planning to go to prom.

Lu Han is one of them.

He isn’t ready to face his schoolmates. After with what happened between Chanyeol and Sehun, his boyfriend didn't approach him since. No matter how many times he called for him, he would simply stray away, making excuses such as doing other things like designing the gymnasium for prom. It worried, and scared him a lot.

The student body still treated him warmly, some have congratulated him since  _he got such a brave boyfriend_ , and some girls are asking him out to prom through love letters and directly asking him during lunch.

 _So where did the brave boyfriend go?_ He would ask himself as he goes home alone, seeing that Sehun closed his window.

Aside from that, the queer people were very heartwarming, encouraging him day by day that he wasn't alone and to be proud. He was, and he never felt more free. It's just that he didn’t want to go to prom knowing that things between him and Sehun are getting blurry.

A conflict forms in his head: his future, or Sehun. He knew that if he chose one, there must be something that he’ll let go of, and it would have been something easy if life went easy on him. He could have answered _or_ and balance both.

 _What if I rejected Sehun back then?_ The question lingered in Lu Han’s head as he chomped on hot ramen in the cafeteria. Oh, that answer’s simple: he’d suffer a one-sided love all because he denied his feelings for his best friend. And pity parties will be directed at him as he watches the person he loves find someone new.

He sighs. He loves Sehun, and he is actually happy. He has no regrets hiding all this time, because at least, he was with _him_ and that was what mattered. He’s only worried because his parents are going to be involved in this mess, and his scholarship will be gone, and he wouldn’t be able to go to one of Korea’s top univer—

“Don’t think too much.”

Lu Han looks up from his ramen cup, seeing Kyungsoo stare at him. He already finished his ramen. His friend smiles, and grabs his hand. “Your hands are shaking already.”

“I’m sorry, Soo.” Lu Han looks down again on his ramen.

“I understand, but I want you to know that you’re not alone in this.” Kyungsoo was great in comforting people, a contrast to how he often snaps at people he found annoying. “Many people here got your back, and _you have Sehun_. Keep the faith.”

“Thank you,” Lu Han swore that he felt tears welling up his eyes but he refrains from shedding at least one.

“I hope you still go to prom.” Kyungsoo says and his tone went down, displaying a bit of sadness in his face. “You know you’re my favorite human being.”

Lu Han laughs and places his hand over Kyungsoo’s, caressing it the way he did earlier. “Jongin will be the one taking my place, just you wait.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head and chuckles. “Hell no, Jongin may be the person I like but you—I’ll keep you with me until I get wrinkles and walk with crutches.”

“Me too.” Lu Han replies and laughs. “Fuck Sehun, he can fend for himself.”

They both laugh and suddenly, Lu Han’s heart felt lighter. He felt thankful knowing he’ll have a friend like Kyungsoo that will be there for him, no matter what.

But he still had doubts. It has been a long and hard ride with Sehun, and the scary thought comes to him:  _Does he love me like I love him? Does he still care about me? Has he ever resented me during the times when no one knew about us?_

Later on during dismissal, he skips soccer practice. He brushes past his coach and doesn’t say hi to any of his teammates. He’s going to isolate himself from the school except for Kyungsoo. The only catchphrase that entered his mind as he caught some of the students looking at him was _fuck_ _it_. Lu Han knew damn well he wasn’t acting like the cheerful and warm soccer captain that everyone knew.

As he walks home, he holds onto his phone and he unlocks it, seeing a picture of him and Sehun as his wallpaper. He immediately changes it to the phone’s default background, and clicks away to his phone’s photos.

Lu Han realized he made an album of Sehun as he saw that there were a lot. His boyfriend was smiling all throughout, but he never looked at the lens of the camera. His view was often elsewhere, and there was a glint in his eyes. It seemed like the sun reflected in his brown orbs, and he chokes up on tears forming. Especially on the most recent picture he got from someone, when they were both sitting on the grass near the soccer field. They were both supposed to smile.

Sehun had his arm around Lu Han's shoulders, but he wasn't looking at the camera, unfortunately. Lu Han was, his smile looking like it's contagious. Tears brim when he saw whom his boyfriend was looking at.

 _He was looking at me all the time even if I always told him to smile at the camera._  His eyes turn glassy and tears fall. His legs start to shake, so he leaned on a light post. _He was always looking at me._

Sehun’s smile flashes as soon as Lu Han closes his eyes. All his teeth were showing because his smile was wide; his cheeks rise up along with his eyes, and the wind was brushing through his hair. It was a perfect day for the sun wasn’t shining so much. He was lying on the grass.

“Hannie,” Lu Han could hear Sehun calling him like that, and he falls down on his butt. His legs were too shaky to function, and he couldn’t stop crying. He holds onto his phone tighter.

He should have deleted the photos and end things with Sehun through a text message, but he remembers. _He loves me_ , he thought. It was like an assurance to the once romantically hopeless Lu Han, back when he just loved his best friend from afar, preventing himself from showing any signs of romantic affection. He remembered the days he would get sad thinking he had no chance of being with him. But he was proven wrong on that very day.

 _He loves me_.

_“And I will never regret showing how much I love you like right now.”_

Lu Han refrains from continuing his plans. He can’t bring himself to do it. He doesn’t want to give him up. He wants them to stay the way they are now, even if it’s difficult as of the moment. _He loves Sehun._

Emotional stress comes over him, and soon enough, he loses consciousness.

**

Lu Han’s eyelashes flutter, and his eyes fully open. He was looking at the ceiling, and he narrows his eyes. He starts to move his hands, and he places his palm on his forehead. _Ow_ , he muttered and his parents sigh in relief for their son.

Sehun thought he was poisoned, so he holds Lu Han’s free hand tightly and places it on his cheek.

“Where am I?” Lu Han asks as he faces Sehun and his parents, looking utterly confused.

“You’re in the hospital.” His mom answers and was holding her hand close to her chest. “Thank God, you’re alive. The people were just shocked to see you sleeping on the floor.”

He talked to his parents in Mandarin, and Sehun understood all of it. Lu Han taught him a lot, to the point that he is capable of speaking his language without pausing in between to think of which word to use.

“Shixun,” Lu Han calls his Chinese name, and Sehun didn’t know why, but he looked like he gained his life back by looking at him.

“It’s alright, I’m here.” Sehun assures him in Mandarin, smiling as he sees Lu Han’s eyes get glassy.

Lu Han’s father steps in, and he crosses his arms. “The doctor told us you fainted due to emotional stress. So whatever issue you have with your best friend right now—,”

“Honey, Sehun’s his _boyfriend_.” Mrs. Lu interrupts, wearing a smile that made her look youthful and cute. Her husband sighs.

“ _Anyways_ , whatever issue you have with Sehun, you fix it. Understand?”

“Yes, baba.” Lu Han answers, and he sounded exhausted. Sehun was more worried than ever.

They both left to give them space, and it was just the two of them now. Sehun’s gaze was filled with so much concern that Lu Han wanted to kiss all the creases in his forehead away.

“I thought something bad happened to you, Han, are you—,”

Lu Han shushes him and sits up from the bed. “You’re too noisy.”

Sehun sighs. “Of course, I’m worried about you! Who wouldn’t be?”

Lu Han smiles in reply, and Sehun wondered what was going on his mind. He looked like he cried a lot, judging from the red corners of his eyes.

“Sehunnie, thank you.”

He raises an eyebrow. “For what?”

“Thank you for sticking with me, even if I’m the one making this relationship difficult.”

Sehun sits on the edge of the hospital bed instead of the chair provided for him earlier, pulling Lu Han closer. “You never made it difficult for me, Hannie.”

Silence surrounded the both of them.

“Oh, sorry, I shouldn’t call you that.”

“No,” Lu Han holds Sehun’s face with both of his hands. “I like it when you call me that. And we're not even hiding anymore.”

“You told me you hated it.”

“I only told you that because I thought it would make our relationship obvious. It made me look cute.”

“Well, you are cute.”

And just like it was meant to be in that time, they both lean in for a passionate kiss. So far, in their one year relationship, this is the second time they kissed like they were going to eat each other’s faces, like as if it was their last kiss. Lu Han and Sehun both felt that _need_ to be by each other’s side, and it kept growing, and it was starting to intensify.

But Sehun was the one who controlled himself, unfortunately. “As much as I want to take you, I can’t. First of all, we’re in a hospital.”

He was trying to catch for breath, and so was Lu Han. “Second, we’re not yet married.”

“How are you so sure we’re going to get married?”

“I’ll bring you to the States and propose to you there, and then I’ll marry you the next day.”

 _He does love me_ , Lu Han told himself as he saw the gaze in Sehun’s eyes. He was dead serious. _Oh my god, I love this boy_.

Lu Han pulls Sehun in for an embrace, and he leans on his shoulder, feeling the warmth surround him as soon as his boyfriend embraced him in return.

“I love you so much,” He heard Sehun whisper.

“I love you more,” Lu Han answers.

Kyungsoo was right. _He had Sehun._ That was all that mattered.

**

The principal sends Sehun and Lu Han out of her office, three days before prom.

Everyone else stood still when the couple came out, holding hands.

Sehun passed by Chanyeol, who looked at him with disgust.

Lu Han passed by Baekhyun, who looked like he wanted to hug him.

The couple passed by Jonghyun and Kyungsoo. They raised their fists and mouthed, “Hwaiting.”

The rest of the soccer team looked like they were crying and Minseok was trying to control the rest of them. “You’re a brave soul, Lu,” He uttered and did a salute.

The basketball team all clapped for Sehun, especially the freshmen players. They were even wearing bandanas that had his full name and chanting, “You did great.”

Despite having their scholarships taken away from them, and being kicked out of their respective teams, they weren’t alone.

 _Kyungsoo was right_ , Lu Han thought as he saw the rest of the students clap for them. The queer ones in hiding now wore accessories related to rainbows as they hollered for the couple, and that was what mattered.

They changed the game again for the campus.

And they had each other. That was what mattered.

But it does not end here.

**

Lu Han and Sehun both get out from their house at the same time to check the mailboxes. There wasn’t a lot, but there was a certain mail that left them speechless.

 _Yonsei University Sports Scholarship Letter_ was written on both of their mails. They look at each other from where they stood.

In a heartbeat, they ran to each other and Sehun carried Lu Han with ease. They both shouted for joy, which shocked their neighbours. And then the shock wore off, since they were always loud and rowdy together.

Sehun puts Lu Han down as soon as it slowly sinks in.

“We’re offered a scholarship by Yonsei University!” Lu Han yells.

“Are we dreaming?” Sehun questions the things unfolding, even looking around to make sure he isn’t hallucinating.

“No, we aren’t.” Lu Han answers and a dreamy lovesick grin plastered his face.

They both kiss each other on the lips outside of their houses in the neighborhood, for the first time.

In the midst of that, a grandma from the neighborhood shouts, “Get a room, kids!”

**

Prom was such a great experience.

Sehun was the happiest when he didn’t win prom king. Haein took the crown and he was still shy on stage, since it’s _the transferee jitters_ and he thought everything was unreal. He thanked all of the seniors for the award.

“But the real winner here is Oh Sehun and Lu Han.”

Everyone pauses in Haein’s speech, and they all turn to the couple, who looked surprised at the sudden mention.

“Wah, Haein mentioned the both of you!” Jonghyun happily exclaims and claps his hands together, his grin widening.

“From what I heard, they were always the dynamic duo. They have set the customs, the norms, and all. At first, I told myself that after all, they are popular star players. But when they admitted their relationship to the principal—something that is hard to do, if I was them—they earned more than my respect.”

He raises his wine glass that was filled with Sprite. “So for tonight, my wish is that this dance will solely be focused on this couple. You both changed the game.”

The rest, including Kyungsoo and Jonghyun raised their glasses. Baekhyun, located near the catering area because he was too hungry, raised his glass filled with iced tea.

“To Sehun and Lu Han! May their relevance live on even if we graduate from this school.”

“To Sehun and Lu Han!” The rest cheered.

The music started playing, and Lu Han was surprised to hear the music that was playing.

“Gosh, that’s _When You’re Home_ , from _In The Heights_!” Lu Han exclaims as Sehun takes him to the center, where the spotlight shines on them. “Sehun, I love that song.”

“I actually requested that for you. At least you wouldn’t forget that Broadway music was played during prom night.”

Sehun sees Lu Han’s gaze soften. “Sehun-ah…”

“I love you, Hannie.”

“I love you more, Sehun-ah.”

They start waltzing and the rest follow. The prom king Haein watches the scene happily. _I’m so happy to witness this as a transferee_ , he thought to himself as he looks at Sehun and Lu Han, their foreheads against each other as they danced.

At least a fruitful future is anticipated for the couple, and that was what mattered.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to writeforselu for having so much patience with me! and thank you for reading this! I wrote this like a memoir of what it's like to be a lgbtq+ member in a catholic school, because i actually wrote this with experience, and from my fellow queers of what it's like. I do hope you appreciate this work though it's unedited and there are some points I missed. it's my first time writing in a ficfest after two years, and i hope you all show appreciation for the rest of the authors' works by leaving a comment here and on theirs too.
> 
> p.s. #youdidwelljonghyun he was already a planned character from the very beginning in my story :) and also give the showtunes mentioned in the story a listen harhar


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